what's in a name?

I started this post nearly two months ago.

We had a diagnosis - combined type ADHD. Well, that's in addition to the SPD - which is not generally recognized as a diagnosis. I was ok with ADHD.  I expected it. But then there was another...

Aspergers.

When you're pregnant, there are always things you worry about - sometimes irrationally. We have a lot of neurological issues in our family. I worried about my baby being born intersex (irrational) or having Autism (not so irrational).  And now, for now, Diego is on the spectrum. His diagnosis could change at any point - even in just talking to one clinician over another. There are so many comorbid symptoms with neurobiological disorders  - it makes diagnosis really challenging.  He does have AS traits, though they're not severe. It could be that the sensory issues are causing the ADHD issues. Who knows. Is it the chicken or the egg?

I was ok for a bit after I found out. I told my self everything I was supposed to - the diagnosis doesn't define him, he's still the same kid, his issues are still the same. Nothing had changed except we had something to call it. Until I had to say it out loud. That's when the uncontrollable sobbing began.

It's been a few weeks. I can talk about it now without crying. And while I do have those flashes of sadness from time to time, most of the time I am just so in love with my sweet little boy - there is very little room for sadness.